5 posts categorized "Quick Chats"

January 21, 2015

A Conversation with Newlyweds and SAGE Tulsa Participants Ray and Eduardo

It’s never too late to celebrate love! After more than a decade together, SAGE Participants Ray Mahoney, 66, and  his partner Eduardo Saurez, who is 86, were married on October 12, 2014 in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

 

SMichaelsimg_0861
Eduardo Saurez, Serena Worthington, SAGE’s Director of National
Field Initiatives, and Ed Mahoney
 

Ray and Eduardo met by chance, or “destiny” as Ray says, at a local food store one day. Ray remembers being struck by how tall Eduardo was. And Eduardo was impressed by Ray too, so he asked Ray for lunch the next day, and they immediately hit it off.

They love a good road trip and have seen a lot of the country in their years together. Ray remembers traveling to see a space shuttle launch in Florida, only to have a rain storm roll in and delay the big event. They’ve also visited Memphis, where they took the Civil Rights tour and visited Graceland. Visiting Nashville is also a fond memory for Ray, who says “It’s a fun town—there’s a party going on everywhere you go!”

The idea of getting married was initially proposed by Eduardo, who says, “I had to persuade him! But I didn’t argue with him.” Once the decision was made, the ceremony was performed by Toby Jenkins, executive Director for Oklahomans for Equality. The happy couple celebrated afterward at SAGE Tulsa with friends, food, and their favorite music.

A theme emerges consistently in conversations about marriage with Ray and Eduardo: security. They both feel a sense of relief knowing that they’re now legally protected and won’t be separated if they have to go into a nursing home or assisted living facility. Without children or other family members nearby, they are each other’s primary safety net.

Ray’s sister Louisa has been supportive of him, but wasn’t encouraging about the wedding at first, saying “you can always back out”. Despite that, Ray and Eduardo show no signs of splitting up. When faced with marital arguments, they’ll tell you they don’t fight—Ray jokes “you don’t argue with the judge!” They tease each other, and Eduardo says they “kid around a lot, but [we] don’t insult each other.” They agree that mutual respect is the key to their success as a couple.

Eduardo is grateful for the protection of marriage, saying that “If I pass away, whatever money we have, goes to each other. I thank God that we trust each other and get along fine!”

Ray shared a portion of his wedding vows to describe his feelings about getting married, saying that “Nothing can equal having someone to be sure of, having someone to believe in, to share a good life with. At the end there are neither riches nor fame, only past remembrances of the few people we’ve shared spiritual unions with.” He added that “If you live your whole life and you find one person you can believe in and trust, you’ve done something!”

Cheers to Ray and Eduardo! May they have many more adventures together.

 

November 17, 2014

A Quick Chat with Paulina Garcia

Our monthly “Quick Chats” with SAGE participants offer a first-person perspective on our community.  This month, we spoke with Paulina Victoria Garcia, a Mexican-American volunteer, who is both legally blind and deaf, issues that affect many LGBT people across the country, especially as they age. Paulina comes to the SAGE Center Midtown in New York City from the Helen Keller National Center’s Vocational Training Program and started off working in the kitchen. She soon found another use of her many talents and currently runs a sign-language class for participants at SAGE Center Midtown in New York City.
 
PaulinaThanks for taking the time to talk with me Paulina. How long have you been coming to SAGE Center Midtown in New York City?
I’ve been coming to SAGE since August. I worked in the kitchen at first. I help my coworkers set up the space for dinner, prepare the food and then I hand out the meals when dinner is actually served. Since I am hard of hearing, I asked if I could start a sign-language class to help people communicate better.
 
What a great idea! How many people take your class?
My class is on Thursdays from 3-4 and about 22 people take my class. We start off with the basics of communication—always carry a notebook and a pen is the first lesson! We then move on to basic signing—ASL, or American Sign Language. Communication for people who are hard of hearing encompasses more than one method and I try to teach that from the very beginning. I’m trying to create ways for the deaf community to become more involved with SAGE and for people to be comfortable with me and others like me as I am transgender. That’s my main purpose.
 
Impressive! Is the class going well?
I am lucky in that new people are coming into the SAGE Center Midtown from the deaf community all the time and that people here want to communicate with them and each other. I have people in the class who are \ all are interested in either learning basics or learning more sign language. Some people who are older are becoming hard of hearing and they want to learn some ASL to help them communicate better. I also feel like people are very accepting of me here and I feel comfortable in a way that is very empowering.
 
What do you teach in the class?
Basic ASL–the ABC order, basic vocabulary, like colors and every day words like “happy,” “sad,” and other feelings. Especially since I work during dinner service, they use a lot of food words with me. I really try to teach them to not use their voice when signing so to experience what deaf people deal with daily.
 
Can you tell me top 5 good signs to know?
The most popular phrase for the class is “what’s your name” and then teaching them to sign with the ABC’s. Also popular is “good night”, “good morning”, “thank you,” “hello” and “my name is __________.”
 
Thank you so much for taking the time to talk, Paulina!​
 
 
--Posted by Christina DaCosta
 
October 10, 2014

A Quick Chat with Rubin Gonzalez

Our monthly “Quick Chats” with SAGE participants offer a first-person perspective on our community.  This month, we spoke with Rubin Gonzalez, a 59-year-old artist whose wide-ranging interests include sculpture, jewelry-making and painting. Despite his struggle with cancer, Rubin is staying active. Recently, his work has been on view at the Casa Frela Gallery in Harlem, and was included as part of the Harlem Art Walking Tour.

Rubin_gonzalezBlogThanks for taking the time to speak with me, Rubin. Can you tell me how you first came to SAGE?

I was hoping to get help with computer skills, and I met Reyno Francisco [a SAGE social worker] and he was a helpful and very positive person. I like people who express an emotional connection to their job—he did that. Then Tom Weber [SAGE’s Director of Care Management] contacted Lawrence Rodriguez, who owns the Casa Frela Gallery, and he wanted six pieces of my art!

That’s fantastic! When did you start making art?

My art comes from poverty. I was ten when my dad died, and I was one of ten kids. I didn’t have toys, so I said ‘let me make my own.’ I carved an elephant out of soap in grade school, and the teachers at my school started buying them. So I said ‘ooh I can make money doing this!’

My brothers used to tease me and call me ‘big head’ and ‘martian’, etc. But then I realized I have something they didn’t have. My artistic skills got me noticed. So I kept pursuing it.

You’ve done many different kinds of art, is that right?

Yes, I’ve done sculpture and painting and I’ve cut glass and cast silver. I’ve also done upholstery, made my own clothes, jewelry, and leather bags. My teachers always told me to specialize, and I said “No I can’t, I love everything!” People tell me, “Your work is good, but it looks like ten different people did it!”

My “Harlem Heroes Collectibles” was my first attempt at a business. They were wearable art representing Sojourner Truth, Malcolm X, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Jr., and others.

I also did a series of self-portraits at age 40—me and me alter egos—me as a white guy, me as a Black guy, as a martian, as a cyborg, and as an Aztec  king.

Where do you get your inspiration?

I’m an optimistic artist. I work with what I have. Garbage, to me, is like art—I see something different in objects than other people. At Casa Frela I am showing sculptures based on Native American and African American tribal headdresses. It was a challenge to replicate them in miniature.

And what does this show at Casa Frela mean for you?

This is like an answer to a prayer.  I am very interested in my legacy, since I’m living with terminal cancer, and my partner of 29 years, Rafael, passed away in May. To give myself purpose, I’m focusing on preserving my artwork. 

You’ve struggled a lot recently.  I’m so sorry about the loss of your partner. I’m really moved by your strength, and I can’t wait to see your show!

Thank you!My legacy is my motivator right now. I want to give my artwork a home, and make people happy.

 

September 23, 2014

A Quick Chat with Natalie Kenvin

SAGE offers hundreds of programs every month, throughout the country. Our monthly “Quick Chats” with SAGE participants offer a first-person perspective on these programs, and a little more insight into the remarkable people who make up our community. This month, we spoke with Natalie Kenvin, a 72- year-old Chicago resident who has been a SAGE participant through Chicago’s Center on Halsted for about four years.

Thanks for taking the time to speak with me, Natalie. When did you first become aware of SAGE, and how are you involved?

About four years ago. I walk through the door [of the Center on Halsted] and all pretenses are gone—it feels like a second home. I’m part of the Senior Action Group there. I’d like to see a little more activist presence, so I’m building a link between the Center on Halsted and local activist communities. I’m trying to get people more involved with the Jane Addams Senior Caucus [a senior activist organization in Chicago].


Natalie


What kinds of issues are you working on?

Well, through the Jane Addams Caucus we are trying to get an ordinance passed to better regulate federal housing money in Chicago, to improve access to housing for low-income seniors. We have more than 13,000 people waiting for low-income housing in Chicago! When Cabrini-Green [the Cabrini-Green Public Housing Project, now demolished] came down, everyone was promised housing. But they never got anything. People who are not people of color, and who are middle class, don’t have this problem.

That’s amazing! Housing is such a critical issue for people across the country right now. Can we get to know you a bit better? Where are you from originally?

I was born in Philadelphia, but my family moved frequently. We lived in Pennsylvania, Ohio, Canada, and Michigan—Detroit. It was an intellectual family but also one that was violent.

When I hit adolescence we were living in a run-down area in Detroit, but I was going to a kind of snobby girls’ school. During that time I really exploded sexually, and my grades started to slide. So my parents took me to psychologists who gave me two diagnoses: depression and gender confusion. I ended up being hospitalized in a state institution. I remember a psychologist saying, ‘I bet you spend all your time playing basketball with the boys!’ I was totally uninterested in basketball!

But then I caught a break. The psychologist changed and the person I got was a wonderful man. He layed off of the ‘gender confusion’. I had taken a test to see whether you were gender-confused and I saw the result [in my file]. It said “Patient is Pathologically Female”! It had questions like, “I like to wear flowered dresses—true or false?”

[Natalie and I both cracked up at the thought of this]

My parents would visit and they’d get so upset. The doctor said to me, ‘you’re not going to see them and you’re not going back to that—you’re going to college.’ I went to Wayne State in Detroit.

And you went on to have relationships with women, men, or both?

With women and men. When this came up, I thought I must be the worst person in the world. That I must be crazy—‘I’m attracted to women and men!’ I thought of it as a pathology. I married a man early on and when that began to disintegrate I began relationships with women.

Are you in a relationship now?

No. I wish! I have a girlfriend but she doesn’t want to make it a sexual relationship. When she said that I thought ‘Oh dash it all!’ She is a lovely, positive, life-loving woman. She’s my age and came from a background like mine. We are both bisexual. When we first met she said ‘I have something to tell you—I’m bisexual.’ And I said ‘me too!’ we laughed and high-fived. 

And what about work—are you currently working, or are you retired?

I taught English; my degrees are in Comp Lit. I won an NEA award for my writing [in 1995]. I've worked less since I’ve been ill in recent years but now I’m feeling better and having a bit of a renaissance.

You are doing amazing work! I wish you the best of luck. Thanks so much for taking the time to share your story, Natalie!

Thank you!

--Posted by Kira Garcia

August 14, 2014

A Quick Chat with SAGE Participant Dorrell Clark

SAGE offers hundreds of programs every month, throughout the country. Our monthly “Quick Chats” with SAGE participants offer a first-person perspective on these programs, and a little more insight into the remarkable folks who make up our community. This month, we spoke with Dorrell Clark, a 62-year-old retired train operator who lives in the Bronx with her wife. When she’s not at SAGE, Dorrell also dabbles in dance and acting.

Thanks for talking with me Dorrell. How long have you been coming to SAGE?

Oh a long time—for over ten years. I participate in the women’s meeting in Harlem, also Fabulous Fridays, and the bereavement group, which is a great support system. Recently I also went to the Saturday Cool Out gathering. We talked and shared old pictures—it was a joy! The programs are gratifying to attend because you’re in your own place—you’re safe. It’s always good to be with people like you because they know where you’re coming from.

Dorrell Clark

So, what do you do professionally?

Well, I’m a retired MTA train operator.

That sounds fascinating! Did you enjoy it?

Absolutely! I loved it. The best thing was that every day I went to work I learned something new. I was a work train operator. We worked with the people who repaired tracks and stations.

In your opinion, how has being LGBT changed since you came of age?

I identify as an aggressive. Back in the day, if you could pass as a male (and I sometimes do), people wouldn’t bother you. Even today people call me sir until they look close. But nowadays, it doesn’t matter. Women walk down the street holding hands, and no one bothers you! Back in the day you couldn’t do that—you’d get harassed.

Most of the time, no one disputes that my wife and I are married. But she has been sick and at the hospital recently, there was this one nurse who looked at me and said “Who are you?!” and I said, “I’m her wife.” The nurse answered, “Well, I have to ask her,“ meaning my wife, who confirmed—she will tell you she’s my wife before I tell you I’m hers! But then the nurse asked her “Do you feel safe?” as in, “Do you feel safe with her?” That hurt—the cancer had put her in the hospital, not me. But in general, things are better than they were.

Thank you so much for taking the time to talk, Dorrell!

Thanks for calling!

--Posted by Kira Garcia